thefirstevil: Employer/minion communication breakdown

The First (

thefirstevil) wrote,
@ 2003-02-03 11:50:00

Employer/minion communication breakdown
Quick update as I'm terribly busy choosing who to wear for the costume party at Lloyd's office tonight. And, err, ending the slayer line and bringing about hell on earth. Obviously.

Trouble with the staff, again. If they didn't feel they were being paid enough, why didn't they ask for a raise? (Apart from likelihood of painful evisceration). So embarrassing to find minions moonlighting (sunlighting) as home ec. teachers, school bus drivers etc. And Dave the Harbinger claims he wants to give up minioning as he actually prefers his day job on the school construction site. Suppose I could let that one slide, since could use him to keep an eye on the Handyscooby, if he ever gets his ass back to work.

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	Sorry to hear that you have minion probelms evil_willow 2003-02-03 05:31 am UTC (link)
	IF you can't get the guys(or are some of them gals?)back to work,don't worry. I have some big evil doings planned for tomorrow that if they suceed,will make your job alot easier. In fact,you may have a powerful new ally to enlist in your cause-MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (Reply to this)

Just stumbled across this here journal.

georgewbushe
2003-02-03 08:12 am UTC (link)

I's a huge fan of your work, First.

Ya know what I find works well with uppity staff? Sendin' 'em off on diplomatic assignments to fake countries. You'd be surprised to find out that there are actually people out there who think Turkmenistan's an actual country. Heh heh heh heh.

Off to play with some yarn now. But hey...gimme a call and we can collaborate on some evil, mmkay?

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	hey george, level with me... iblis_kukl 2003-02-03 03:16 pm UTC (link)
	Exactly who in the HELL (literally or otherwise) wrote that passage about the "creator who names the stars" in your sticky little speech about the Columbia?? 'Cause I really doubt it was you, if you want the truth about it. iblis (the funkiest evil) }()+ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Deleted post)

	If you'd REALLY like to know... georgewbushe 2003-02-03 06:10 pm UTC (link)
	I saw the phrase "creator who named the stars" written in purple crayon on a bathroom wall at an Arby's a few years ago. Mmm. The roast beef sandwhich is a truly patriotic meal. Now...Iblis...level with me: Are you connected with the Tally Ban? I have ways of making people talk... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: If you'd REALLY like to know... iblis_kukl 2003-02-04 04:41 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I'm all for banning tallies, goddamn nuisance things. But truth to tell, when those ragheads over there are all shaking their fists railing about the "Great Satan of America", I'm pretty much just their scapegoat. Looks to me like they really need to lay off all that hashish just a bit. iblis }()+ (Reply to this)(Parent)

holden_vamp
2003-02-03 11:01 am UTC (link)

As a professional head-shrinker (except for the license--I don't quite have that), you must realize that minions change: they go through turning points in their lives and find that they are not the minions they once were. And sometimes, even though it can be difficult, you must let them go. It is best for all parties involved. When you are ready to do that, often they'll realize what a good gig they had and come groveling back to you--which is enjoyable on so many levels.

In this time of uncertainty, look towards the things that remain stable and constant in your un-life. And if Lloyd seems to be blossoming into something special, spend your time trying to make that work. The minions will get it sorted. They're just trying to discover who they are and what their boudaries are, pushing the limits of their minion-ness.

It's probably just a phase.

(Reply to this)

Harbinger Sunlighting
(Anonymous)
2003-02-03 03:04 pm UTC (link)

Dearest FeFe,
I've told you a million times, that's why you have to have Minion Reviews. How else can you manage your staff? I know that you created the whole HR concept, so you must know that this is the only way to properly evaluate your minion staffers, set up proper salary increases, compensation levels, etc... I have a few multi-use eval forms if you'd like me to email them to the 2nd evil,
(delegate dahling, it's the only way to go.)or even Lloyd. I'm sure he'd love to do you a favor, and let's face it, with what you've got planned in the next few months, a well-evaluated staff will let you assign tasks to those best able to do what needs doing, AND reward those minions most deserving.. Well, I've got to finish these ISO 9002 thingies..Let's do lunch after you finish your little Apocalypse.. EYE OF BOTOX

(Reply to this)

What do you Expect?!

(Anonymous)
2003-02-03 10:28 pm UTC (link)

Well, Boss, you treat us like minions. I mean we are minions, but still... We need respect too. I mean, I mention, "hey, let's kill some students on the seal and get some replacement Ubervamps", but you're too busy with "personal problems." I say, "let's do glamor spells on each other so we can fool the slayer and BE corporeal." Do you have us do it? No. Why? Because you're going to a party. When I tried to tell you that you can't drown a vampire because, HELLO, the dead don't breath, you did it anyway. When Hal (minion 47) told you to stop talking and actually do something, you set him on fire. I don't think that's what he meant. And just think what that does for our moral.

Boss, you won't listen to anyone. And I have to tell you, that some of your ideas have been really stupid. Just have ALL of us rush that damn house and KILL everyone, already. Having us work for free without any breaks sucks. Plus you killed all our union representatives and never give us a day off. I'm leading a strike.

Boss, you're looking at me kinda funny. Wow, it's getting hot in here. Do I smell smoke? Aaaauuuugh...

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	(Anonymous) 2003-02-04 06:36 am UTC (link)
	Are any of them disguised as a certain Ms Abdulhussein? Cuz if so, you'de be proud to know that she is making life miserable for students everywhere. More than teachers usually do, I mean. (Reply to this)

	xdawnsummersx 2003-02-04 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	Tiffe? Really, I'm beginning to think we're not good enough for you. I mean, Amy? (Reply to this)

octopedingenue
2003-02-04 09:47 pm UTC (link)

Are being too soft on minions. Minions obviously masochistic, as desire to pursue professions involving extended close contact with shrieking sugar-crazed children armed with knives and bags of flour. Plucking-out-own-eyeballs thing also big clue to love-of-pain mental state. Minions cannot get their loathing properly at home and so they run (metaphorically) crying out into the streets to look for it there. Suggest working amounts of physical pain and verbal harassment back into daily minion routine. (Suggest also assigning special minion to first post, as incorporeal no-touchy also means no-hurty.)

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	eclipseklutz 2003-02-06 08:15 pm UTC (link)
	LOL- been there done that... well still goin' through it actually... Minions; not a good idea... need pay and everything... actually, it tends to be a bit annoying... (Reply to this)

In a cave full of 'Bringers

(Anonymous)
2003-02-06 11:28 pm UTC (link)

Been over to Spike's page,
and just read some news,
Don't know if they're joking,
and wanted your views.

The all-Bringer Chicago,
Had such a hot flare,
That I'd like your reactions,
when you hear what's there,

Your cave's on the outskirts,
FE won't hear you sing,
Why *are* you few separate?
Some new evil thing?

The smoke alarm's broken,
the sprinklers too,
or they might damp things down
'fore your party is through,

Check Spike's page for the news,
Isn't that quite intense?
So sing how you feel!
Let the party commence!

(No-one takes on First Evil,
and minions stay tight,
so the posting's anonymous, see?
yeah - yeah, right!)

(Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2003-02-07 09:18 am UTC (link)
	I have this nummy little red dress you could wear...or I have some simply stunning doctor's scrubs. Give me a call, I can fix you up. Oh, and don't bring the Bringer's with you this time. No one likes a third, eyeless wheel bumping into the walls. ~ Glorificus (Reply to this)

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