The First ([info]thefirstevil) wrote,
@ 2003-01-15 21:18:00
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Current mood:confused
Current music:Barry White, walrus of love

Life, love and a hideous painful death to the Slayer
Still eagerly awaiting the howls of agony from LA when the Broodmeister opens our little care package. Flushed with success, spent most of today recording optional in-character commentaries for the Spike Sexcam DVD, with possible view to commercial release. Post-shuffling off this mortal coil, perhaps have bright future in the adult entertainment industry? Today's evil must always be looking to the future & considering what's to come after the apocalypse. Am considering writing demon dating guide with vital info such as number and position of genitalia on various breeds, races who never call in the morning, and list of demonic species who are obsessed with sex.

Actually very few demons obsessed with sex - tend to be more slaughter-and-destruction orientated (good, good) - though once dated an Ala'Ne demon who was obsessed with socks. Strange race.

Cannot hide it any longer - all this talk of relationships is because Lloyd sent another e-mail, asking me to RSVP party invitation. What to do? He seems genuine, but have always put mayhem-causing before my romantic life. Also, age difference could be insurmountable - he is a mere three thousand, while I am ageless and came into being with the first living creature (though have been told I look very well preserved).

No, must focus on important things: continuing to train the Harbingers so we can take out the Slayer and the junior Slayer wannabes once and for all.

Maybe could take just one night off for the party, though. Yes? Yes.


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Party Hardy
tiffball1031
2003-01-15 01:25 pm UTC (link)
Parties are always fun... and remember, All Work and No Play makes Evil Dull.

(Reply to this)

[info]d_minion
2003-01-15 01:25 pm UTC (link)
Erm... If am going to be stuck babysitting harbringers, would like advance notice please.

And permission to duck tape them to ceiling.

Please? Pretty please?

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Actually...
[info]thefirstevil
2003-01-15 01:37 pm UTC (link)
Since I'm dateless, following the tragic loss of Ubie... how would you look in a Cher wig?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: Actually... - [info]d_minion, 2003-01-15 01:40 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - [info]surfal666, 2003-01-15 01:50 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - [info]d_minion, 2003-01-15 01:56 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 02:08 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - [info]d_minion, 2003-01-15 02:10 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - [info]_rogueslayer_, 2003-01-15 02:21 pm UTC
Re: Actually... - (Anonymous), 2003-01-16 01:29 am UTC
Re: Actually... - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-15 02:41 pm UTC

[info]immortalslayer
2003-01-15 01:41 pm UTC (link)
Oh bloody hell, go the the party already before Methos and I find a way to kill you ourselves. He's quite old, you know. Besides....the slayer gang took a little field trip. Maybe in your drunken state post-party, you guys could tp the house.

(Reply to this)

[info]the23rdevil
2003-01-15 02:00 pm UTC (link)
though once dated an Ala'Ne demon who was obsessed with socks. Strange race.


Oh yeah, I used to have a roommate of that species, Definatly explains where all the socks went

And I say go to the party, who knows, maybe you'll get more minions.

(Reply to this)
You deserve a break
[info]wordsmithslash
2003-01-15 02:01 pm UTC (link)
Go to the party. The baby slayers can watch the harbringers; duct tape optional.

WS

(Reply to this)

ex_seniorpar55
2003-01-15 02:21 pm UTC (link)
Gee, that plan sounds familiar. Let's take a look...

Senior Partner plan:
-Drive Angel insane by having him watch his son have sex with the woman he loves.

First Evil plan:
-Drive Angel insane by having him watch his "son" have sex with the woman he loves.


Do you even read the evil trade journals anymore? Come on now! What's next? Friggin' sharks with friggin' lasers on their friggin' heads?!

We think that our next evil scheme will be to invade a slumber party...

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]d_minion, 2003-01-15 02:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-15 02:45 pm UTC
Re: - ex_seniorpar55, 2003-01-15 05:29 pm UTC
Re: - [info]d_minion, 2003-01-15 05:43 pm UTC
Re: - ex_seniorpar55, 2003-01-15 05:56 pm UTC
There's /still/ a Wolfram and Heart? - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 08:29 pm UTC
Re: There's /still/ a Wolfram and Heart? - ex_seniorpar55, 2003-01-15 08:46 pm UTC
Sock it to Me
(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 02:41 pm UTC (link)
>>Actually very few demons obsessed with sex - tend to be more slaughter-and-destruction orientated (good, good) - though once dated an Ala'Ne demon who was obsessed with socks. Strange race.<<

Sweetie-pie, you and I both know know the *real* reason why you've been torturing Spike. Sock envy, pure and simple. ;)

I'll be BAPSing along now.

Ala'Ne

(Reply to this)

[info]soulvamp
2003-01-15 03:03 pm UTC (link)
spent most of today recording optional in-character commentaries for the Spike Sexcam DVD, with possible view to commercial release

I can't decide whether to be extremely flattered or totally offended. Where did you get the supposed footage? What exactly is going on in it? And... *horrified* what sorts of things would you be "critiquing" in the commentary?!?!

Okay, I've determined to go way past "offended" into stark raving fear land.

*runs*

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Where do I buy that DVD? - (Anonymous), 2003-01-16 12:31 am UTC

[info]iblis_kukl
2003-01-15 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Current music: Barry White, walrus of love

Okay, now I'll admit it - good doesn't stand a chance now.

Not when you got the Barry working for you...

iblis }()+

(Reply to this)

[info]_scourge_
2003-01-15 03:35 pm UTC (link)
One small problem with plan to drive the Soul evil...he's over Buff. Still cares about her, but not so much that he'd go insane over any videotape- dunno if he'd even get around to opening any 'care packages' until after the current apocalypse.

Me? Just want the bitch dead.

A.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 04:11 pm UTC
Re: - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-16 09:14 am UTC

[info]_glorificus_
2003-01-15 04:15 pm UTC (link)
Am considering writing demon dating guide with vital info such as number and position of genitalia on various breeds, races who never call in the morning, and list of demonic species who are obsessed with sex.

I'd love to get in on that project. Even a God needs hobbies--bubble baths are hard to come by in the Eighth Circle, and there's NO commercial base down here.

(Reply to this)
Spike Sexcam DVD
[info]mustangsally78
2003-01-15 05:04 pm UTC (link)
with possible view to commercial release

Y'know, you could really make a SHITLOAD of money selling that thing. Any chance of an advanced release? Just for research purposes, you know.

I could write a review.

::yeah, that's it, write a review, that's the ticket, yeah:::

MustangSally

(Reply to this)
sex and socks
(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 05:29 pm UTC (link)
>Actually very few demons obsessed with sex - tend to be more >slaughter-and-destruction orientated (good, good) - though once dated >an Ala'Ne demon who was obsessed with socks. Strange race.

You think the Ala'Ne is something? Try the Aka'Be... talk about a race with focus!

(Reply to this)
hahaha
(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 05:50 pm UTC (link)
u cant defeat the slayers in training! we will always succed!(sp?)

we are everywhere, when you think you are alone, we are in the shadows, when your lair is silent we will ambush you, when you see the hot chick at the supermarket, thats us, we're something you cant comprehend, we are slayers in training!

and we look really cute in leather pants!


saba and the other SITs(sabarendt@msn.com

(Reply to this)

(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 06:14 pm UTC (link)
lmao!
~Lissy
silvercpu.com

(Reply to this)
Think of the opportunities...
(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 06:20 pm UTC (link)
...for inflicting evil at a party! You should most definitely take the evening off from pain and torture of slayerettes. And it is so very wise of you to look to future endeavors post-apocalypse. The well-organized evil will always remain ahead of the game, no matter how many teenage girls in tight pants it has to fend off.
Hmmmm... adult industry, fighting girls in tight pants. Just bring a video camera with you, and you've got half the fieldwork finished! =) As for me, when my evil is done for the day, I like to sit down, relax for a few with a Heineken and my basket-weaving.
Sayonara
The 332nd evil.

(Reply to this)
sex manual
(Anonymous)
2003-01-15 07:25 pm UTC (link)
"Am considering writing demon dating guide with vital info such as number and position of genitalia on various breeds, races who never call in the morning, and list of demonic species who are obsessed with sex."

If you write that guide
then you may see
even humans buy
from curiosity,

Please reconsider,
even so,
FE should side with
the Kingdom below.
.............

(classified material follows)
.............

certain demons
have trouble dating
cuz their special talents
usually have "G" rating
they may be flashy
they may be tough
but you can get 'em gone
with shocking stuff

I've heard of a demon
that hated rabbits!
But for some kinds
it's human habits
That's make 'em just
pack up and go
and play with matches
in the kingdom below.

.................

I'll bring my protest
to a halt,
cus the way some
demons must leave town
is better then losing
via crossbow bolt!
The white-hats can
put their weapons down!

SD



(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: sex manual - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 07:30 pm UTC

[info]gorimek
2003-01-15 08:13 pm UTC (link)
So... how do you incorporeal beings have sex?

Or is your dating life more centered on phone sex type activities? That is not without its evil credibility in itself, so nothing to be ashamed of.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
sex manual - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 08:21 pm UTC
Re: sex manual - [info]_glorificus_, 2003-01-15 08:26 pm UTC
Re: sex manual - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 08:50 pm UTC
Re: sex manual - [info]_glorificus_, 2003-01-15 09:04 pm UTC
Re: sex manual - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 09:22 pm UTC

[info]sissychrissy1
2003-01-15 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Yes.

(Reply to this)

yksi
2003-01-16 02:29 am UTC (link)
I bet you party like it's the end of the world ;)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
the apocalypse party - (Anonymous), 2003-01-16 10:11 am UTC
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(Anonymous)
2004-02-27 05:22 am UTC (link)
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