The First ([info]thefirstevil) wrote,
@ 2003-01-14 17:55:00
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Learning from past mistakes
Surprised Slayer hasn't moved against me by now. Thought she was going to give me an apocalypse? Obviously too busy debating Spike's hair or such to be concerned about impending destruction of planet (and possibly rest of this dimension, depending how much badly-accented SITs piss me off before May.)

This slack period being put to good use - training new Harbingers (useless bunch, keep accidentally stabbing each other, holding daggers the wrong way round etc), practising my morphing (Drusilla imitation improving, I feel), catching up on Joe Millionaire and analysing past Sunnydale Big Bads. Though of course am Biggest bad of all, cannot hurt to study the mistakes of more inferior villains.

The Master: Excellent. Killed Slayer. Opened Hellmouth. Superb evil laugh.
Fatal Flaw: Not making sure she stayed dead. Also poor dental hygiene.
Lesson to be learned: however useless your minions, have one on standby to deal with inconvenient body disposal and/or any proto-carpenters who happen by and try to revive your deceased nemesis.

Angelus: Personal favorite. Mental torture his forte - lots of style.
Fatal Flaw: Quite out of his control, was resouled at last minute by conniving witch (trying to get rid of the competition even then, eh?) Sadly became brooding alter-ego. Brought back from hell by myself, though in retrospect probably not my best idea.
Lesson to be learned: remember the old saying - keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and if you've taunted a sidekick over screwing his significant other, don't let him get behind you with a crowbar.

The Mayor: Understood the importance of solid management structure, vital to evil plots/schemes.
Fatal Flaw: Even as giant demon snake, not immune to dynamite.
Lesson learned: be incorporeal. Check!

Would have continued, but got distracted by what a lame villain that Frankenstein-like thing three years ago was. Cheered self up by compiling "X-Rated Tales from the Crypt" DVD from those surveillance camera tapes Andrew had stashed away - have sent Dave the Harbinger to fed-Ex it to LA. Definitely won't give Angel moment of perfect happiness, but may cause him to go Angelus in furious manner of Incredible Hulk? (Warren's comic knowledge v. informative, if detrimental to social life.) And even if doesn't work, could use a chuckle.


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Hey, it's Tuesday!
[info]bcr19374
2003-01-14 10:04 am UTC (link)
Somethings sure to happen tonight.

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Re: Hey, it's Tuesday!
[info]thefirstevil
2003-01-14 10:26 am UTC (link)
My harbingers inform me that there's some ludicrous bloopers show on UPN tonight which they want to watch. (Sigh) Regretting allowing Dafyd the Harbinger to install that illegal cable.

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Re: Hey, it's Tuesday! - [info]red_witch, 2003-01-14 12:15 pm UTC

[info]kymscrazy
2003-01-14 10:08 am UTC (link)
Cheered self up by compiling "X-Rated Tales from the Crypt" DVD from those surveillance camera tapes Andrew had stashed away

Oh, Highest of all Evils, can I get a copy of this? *g* Will gladly offer up the blood of a virgin...if there's still one left in this town.

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[info]amy_de_ratted
2003-01-14 01:24 pm UTC (link)
Recommend Dawn.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-14 03:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]xdawnsummersx, 2003-01-14 05:36 pm UTC
*offers up Godiva Chocolates* - [info]kymscrazy, 2003-01-14 07:10 pm UTC
Re: *offers up Godiva Chocolates* - [info]xdawnsummersx, 2003-01-14 08:29 pm UTC
*ponders and plots* - [info]kymscrazy, 2003-01-14 08:42 pm UTC
Re: *ponders and plots* - [info]xdawnsummersx, 2003-01-14 09:12 pm UTC
Re: *ponders and plots* - [info]kymscrazy, 2003-01-14 09:18 pm UTC
Re: *ponders and plots* - [info]xdawnsummersx, 2003-01-14 09:47 pm UTC
Re: *ponders and plots* - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 06:49 am UTC
Re: *ponders and plots* - [info]xdawnsummersx, 2003-01-15 06:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-15 12:28 pm UTC

[info]harmonyfb
2003-01-14 10:28 am UTC (link)
Hey, you forgot Spike! Excellent Big Bad in his day:

Spike: Killed not one, but two Slayers. Dynamite fashion sense. Killer cheekbones. Great enthusiasm for his work.
Fatal Flaw: No patience whatsoever. Plus, a tendency to love too much.
Lesson to be learned: Try to avoid close contact with mortal enemies to whom one is physically attracted.

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[info]soulvamp
2003-01-14 11:26 am UTC (link)
Thank you! Hello, was waiting for my honour to be defended! I'd have to say that if not for Angel's inability to take a shag like a man and not get overhappy about it, I'd have retained my Big Bad during the year in question, thanks!

Eh, although, perhaps not best to dwell on those days. Still, I have photo of beaning Angelus with crowbar on my desktop wallpaper now. ;)

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Spike
[info]rashaka
2003-01-14 11:27 am UTC (link)
All good points and excellent descriptions...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bcr19374
2003-01-14 12:04 pm UTC (link)
Technically Spike is a "little bad."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]harmonyfb, 2003-01-14 12:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 12:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-14 02:12 pm UTC
Well, well, well... - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 02:17 pm UTC
Re: Well, well, well... - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 02:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 03:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 03:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 03:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 04:08 pm UTC
Re: Well, well, well... - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-14 02:56 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
Re: - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-14 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 03:30 pm UTC
Re: - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-15 10:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-15 10:47 am UTC
Re: - [info]_scourge_, 2003-01-15 10:50 am UTC
Re: Well, well, well... - [info]soulvamp, 2003-01-14 03:11 pm UTC
Little Bad - yeah right - [info]ophelia31107, 2003-01-14 03:30 pm UTC

[info]xander__harris
2003-01-14 10:34 am UTC (link)
"and/or any proto-carpenters who happen by and try to revive your deceased nemesis"

No, please keep going with your analysises.. er, analyses... whatever. I want to hear about the other time I saved the world.

*beams with pride*

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[info]themaze
2003-01-14 11:28 am UTC (link)
Hey Xander, remember that you also saved Buffy the first year and she saved the world. That means you have saved the world two times.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]xander__harris, 2003-01-14 12:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-14 03:27 pm UTC
Re: - [info]xander__harris, 2003-01-14 03:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iblis_kukl, 2003-01-15 12:30 pm UTC
Re: - [info]xander__harris, 2003-01-15 02:53 pm UTC

[info]_queen_c_
2003-01-14 10:52 am UTC (link)
but may cause him to go Angelus in furious manner of Incredible Hulk?

I'd have to give that a "no". If the fact that I'm sleeping with his SON isn't causing any soul-leaving transformations, then porn probably wouldn't do the trick.

Besides, porn and Angel doesn't mix. He can't watch TV. Sit him down in front of one and he'll start contemplating his hair or some such.

By the way, good luck with that whole "Top Evil of 2003" thing. You're gonna need it. There is some *serious* competition coming from LA right about now.

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[info]red_witch
2003-01-14 01:02 pm UTC (link)
Angel has a son?? Wow. We never hear get news from LA here in Sunnydale anymore.

...not surprised you're sleeping with him, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

I can be evil too
[info]dramagirl42
2003-01-14 11:46 am UTC (link)
I may not be an Angelus or Spike, but I'm downloading, writing short stories, and checking up on LiveJournals while in class. Mua ha ha ha ha! I love colleges and their wireless internet access.

I think you also left a very important person off your list: Carrot Top. He inflicted "Chairman of the Board" on the public. That's evil.

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[info]cole_turner
2003-01-14 12:07 pm UTC (link)
To: The First Evil
From: Cole Turner
Re: Job Opportunities

As a former "Big Bad" myself who is looking to get back into the game after bitchy ex-wife managed to crush what was left of my humanity, I thought I would offer my services. I am looking to relocate from San Francisco to LA or Sunnydale and saw you were working in the neighborhood. Would like to immerse self in evil to forget bitch witch ex.

Previous experience:
Former demon (Belthazor)
Former District Attorney in SF
Former human (FORMER, I stress)
Former Source of All Evil

Currently:
Wielder of the Wicked Wasteland Mojo, considered invincible
Current partner at Jackman, Carter, and Klein (Evil law firm in training)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amy_de_ratted, 2003-01-14 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 01:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amy_de_ratted, 2003-01-14 02:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 02:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]immortalslayer, 2003-01-14 03:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 04:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]immortalslayer, 2003-01-14 05:03 pm UTC
Cole - (Anonymous), 2003-01-15 01:11 am UTC
Re: Cole - [info]immortalslayer, 2003-01-16 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-01-14 07:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 07:32 pm UTC
Sexiest - (Anonymous), 2003-01-14 09:03 pm UTC
Re: Sexiest - [info]cole_turner, 2003-01-14 09:21 pm UTC

[info]r_wilkins_3rd
2003-01-14 12:33 pm UTC (link)
Now, you hold it right there, missy! Inferior villains, indeed!

Aw, just kidding. You're doing a great job, lately, keep it up. If you need any tips on infrastructure and recruiting, just drop me a note. Also, I've gotten past that "mortal coil" thing. Much more sanitary.

R. Wilkins

(Reply to this)(Thread)

*blinks* - [info]kymscrazy, 2003-01-14 07:07 pm UTC
Re: *blinks* - [info]r_wilkins_3rd, 2003-01-14 07:53 pm UTC
Ah, okay - [info]kymscrazy, 2003-01-14 08:05 pm UTC
wise lessons & future fun
(Anonymous)
2003-01-14 12:39 pm UTC (link)
Those are some mighty fine lessons to learn, especially the crowbar one. Must make a note of it for future reference. Hey, knowing W&H's propensity for bugging places, maybe you coud have them slip a little surveillance into the hotel before the LA soulboy watches his present? Of course, there's that bug over at his spawn's house too, but he already caught the live show, didn't he? You should definitely make him angry. I like him when he's angry.

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[info]ash_ketchum
2003-01-14 12:39 pm UTC (link)
Hey there. I was wondering, do you ever visit a town called Harmony? I just wonder, cuz like there's this lady there, Grace, who keeps claiming that her daughter Kay brought evil to Harmony. Do you know Kay?

(Reply to this)

Hmmm.
[info]horsechicks
2003-01-14 10:46 pm UTC (link)
Nice job, FE. We're gonna have to add a few of these to the SunS "Evil Overlord" tips list. Glad to see that while you're imitating Dru, you're not trying to copy her techniques, since I'm not sure she really has any (aside from extreme flightiness).

And let's do the breakdown on Glory, shall we?

Pros: Attracted loyal, stupid minions. Extemely powerful and conscienceless. Amusing fashion sense. Actions led to the second death of the Slayer (awesome!).
Fatal Flaw: Sharing body with all-too-human mortal, leading to insanity and the need to "re-fill" on brains. Led to the vulnerabilities that wore her down to a pulped-up intern, who was then smothered by a Watcher with more focus.
Lesson: body-sharing always has its downside. Avoid if at all possible.

By the way, still liking the Cassie icon. While I'm sure she doesn't appreciate the impersonation - wherever she is - it really is quite funny.

Chris

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Re: Hmmm. - [info]lady_drusilla, 2003-01-15 06:55 am UTC
Xander saved that miserable rotten chipped Spike
[info]dogmeatnyc
2003-01-15 01:01 am UTC (link)
Remember in Doomed, should've let him get crushed by falling high school building debris.

Dogmeat

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[info]lilah_morgan
2003-01-15 02:43 am UTC (link)
With due respect, the residing services of Wolfram and Hart could well functioned admirably if certain rivals did not intrude on our apocalypse schedule.

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[info]lady_drusilla
2003-01-15 06:53 am UTC (link)
But though your wickedness is deliciously charming - you may not be what inside princess is.

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Angel's Return by SKIP (the Demon)
(Anonymous)
2003-01-22 03:52 pm UTC (link)
Dear Mr. or Miss First,
I challenge your claim to of brought back Angel from hell. You see in Amends that the First claims to of brought Angel back, apparently in order to lose his soul and kill Buffy... well thats all fine and dandy for the First, but then when Angel decides he would rather kill himself than hurt Buffy or become a monster again the First decides that Angel killing himself will be just as good. Now if the First actually brought Angel out of hell then why would the First be okay with Angel killing himself? He was already in hell in eternal torment, as good as dead... so why would the First bring him back only for him to kill himself and go back to hell? ANSWER, it was the Powers That Be that brought him back (see the snow storm in Amends) and the First was attempting to bring the now returned Angel to the dark side once again and kill Buffy, when that wasn't going to happen the First was completely satisfied that Angel "The Champion" was going to off himself... in the words of the First "Dead by sunrise!!!". So there. Skip has spoken!!

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(Anonymous)
2003-02-07 09:01 am UTC (link)
I thought we really had something special, poopsie. You said I was your babe. I hate you!

Call me?

~ Glorificus

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what about the rest
(Anonymous)
2005-03-27 09:04 pm UTC (link)
you forgot GLORY. proboly the SECOND MOST DANGERUS BIG BAD IN THE INTIER SERIES.

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wTaQNoln
(Anonymous)
2007-06-21 06:10 pm UTC (link)
a6a7d2745ee994377352f07b209ce0d6

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