The First (thefirstevil) wrote,

Learning from past mistakes

Surprised Slayer hasn't moved against me by now. Thought she was going to give me an apocalypse? Obviously too busy debating Spike's hair or such to be concerned about impending destruction of planet (and possibly rest of this dimension, depending how much badly-accented SITs piss me off before May.)

This slack period being put to good use - training new Harbingers (useless bunch, keep accidentally stabbing each other, holding daggers the wrong way round etc), practising my morphing (Drusilla imitation improving, I feel), catching up on Joe Millionaire and analysing past Sunnydale Big Bads. Though of course am Biggest bad of all, cannot hurt to study the mistakes of more inferior villains.

The Master: Excellent. Killed Slayer. Opened Hellmouth. Superb evil laugh.
Fatal Flaw: Not making sure she stayed dead. Also poor dental hygiene.
Lesson to be learned: however useless your minions, have one on standby to deal with inconvenient body disposal and/or any proto-carpenters who happen by and try to revive your deceased nemesis.

Angelus: Personal favorite. Mental torture his forte - lots of style.
Fatal Flaw: Quite out of his control, was resouled at last minute by conniving witch (trying to get rid of the competition even then, eh?) Sadly became brooding alter-ego. Brought back from hell by myself, though in retrospect probably not my best idea.
Lesson to be learned: remember the old saying - keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and if you've taunted a sidekick over screwing his significant other, don't let him get behind you with a crowbar.

The Mayor: Understood the importance of solid management structure, vital to evil plots/schemes.
Fatal Flaw: Even as giant demon snake, not immune to dynamite.
Lesson learned: be incorporeal. Check!

Would have continued, but got distracted by what a lame villain that Frankenstein-like thing three years ago was. Cheered self up by compiling "X-Rated Tales from the Crypt" DVD from those surveillance camera tapes Andrew had stashed away - have sent Dave the Harbinger to fed-Ex it to LA. Definitely won't give Angel moment of perfect happiness, but may cause him to go Angelus in furious manner of Incredible Hulk? (Warren's comic knowledge v. informative, if detrimental to social life.) And even if doesn't work, could use a chuckle.
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